don’t ever take me on a date to an aquarium because i will ignore you and spend the whole time looking at the fish
But, if you think about it, that’s all the more reason to go. The person you’re dating gets to sit back and watch you smile and have fun. All the while, he/she’s falling deeper in love with you.
thatS REALLY CUTE IM GONNA CRY
graham: if two girls kissing offends you, then grow up
on ireland performance: good news for the irish economy, i hear they’ve discovered oil there. too bad it’s baby oil and they appear to have used it all on his backing dancers.
graham on montenegro: the picture quality of the moon landing was better than this link to Montenegro
montenegro: we have to be brief, don’t we?
graham: i don’t think bonnie can win now, i don’t know, i’m not carol vorderman.
petra: we're half through voting now
graham: oh that's depressing
estonia: shows up
graham: is he standing outside a prison?
albania: petra you look gorgeous tonight!
graham: better than you
albanian guy: (singing) should i live, should i die without your love--
graham: you should leave
eric: i'll help you to the bathroom
graham: don't do that eric, that's how rumours start
germany: we're having so much fun!!!1!
graham: speak for yourself
graham: oh look, it's sideshow bob, nice of him to show up
petra: azerbaijan won 2 years ago, it can still happen now!
graham: god, please, no
graham: busy right now, just won the eurovision, i'll call back later. #donereallywell!!1!1!
voting after denmark has won: proceeds, ppl giving points to russia or idk
graham: can someone please tell her she can't win now
graham: oh flowers now, marvellous
graham: my taxi is waiting outside so if she could sing as quick as possible, that would be nice
I’m legitimately amazed at the fact that women can actually grow a person in their uterus without even trying
and then the people CRAWL OUT OF THEIR VAGINA
COVERED IN ECTOPLASM
AND NO ONE EVEN TRIES TO KILL IT LIKE THAT’S A COMPLETELY NORMAL OCCURRENCE FOR US
I don’t think the person writing this realizes that they crawled out of a uterus once
I was a C section check your privilege
OH MY GOD APPARENTLY TAKING AN ARROW TO THE KNEE WAS AN OLD NORDIC SLANG FOR GETTING MARRIED
I THOUGHT THAT ALL THOSE GUYS IN SKYRIM HAD LITERALLY BEEN SHOT IN THEIR KNEES WITH ARROWS BUT I GUESS NOT
And at that moment, the foundation of that entire meme became something like this:
THAT EXPLAINS WHY MEN GO DOWN ON ONE KNEE WHEN THEY PROPOSE
OH MY GOD
Plot Twist: Stark Industries buys Tumblr. We all get free issue laptops with fantastic WiFi.